Life as just simply being me...

Really, it's been almost more than 2 weeks since I have not been writing my blog here because I was really busy designing a circuit and its layout on an IC chip. Anyway, I don't want to create a long blog like I did before, but just a short one will do. So many things have happened these past 2 weeks, and things really happen so quickly.

Actually, I will be moving over to the north of Malaysia (Penang) to work with a Japanese company in a Free Trade Industrial Zone. Pay-wise, it is good, since I have some good experience in an American company I worked before, though only some 7 months there. Anyway, this end of June, I will be moving over there, and life would have been totally different there because I will then be living some 320km (200 miles) away from my family in Kuala Lumpur (KL), the city where I was raised. I will miss a lot of my KL friends there, especially those I have just recently met. And, the sad thing is, I have very little friends there in Penang, so I will be alone. That's why I say my life there will be different. I probably will be very workaholic to forget all these sad loneliness. All I will face then is the computer screen, all the time. Sad me... I have no partner to share my life with, no one to share my happiness and sadness together and no one to lend me a shoulder to cry on, if I ever cry.

Just yesterday 22nd April, I have an interview with the HR department of the company I will be working with, so excitement come along the way, together with the impending sadness of leaving my family in KL and the impending sadness of having very little friends in Penang. I have a few, but not many, and I need friends to hang out with, to share my experiences with and to talk with. Anyway, I am happy because I will be meeting new friends there in the company.

The past two weeks, I was busy with my design of the latched sample-and-hold flash ADC circuit and the layout, so a lot of my time were spent on the simulations of the circuit. Actually, during these period of time, I have some not-so-good experiences with some rude people I chat on MSN. To tell you briefly, I send this person some pics of mine, and the comments given to me were horrible "YOU ARE FAT!!!" That's exactly what was being told to me. Anyway, whatever the person was trying to tell me, it not only made me feel greater about myself, but also gave me an inspiration to go workout in a KL gym (near KLCC Petronas Twin Towers) that I have fallen in love (actually love at first sight). I actually wanted to join the gym membership, but due to the membership package they offer (3 month or a year membership), I can't join the gym in KL, because I will have to move on to Penang this end of June. So, I am a little devastated that I could not work out in the gym. For your information, the gym not only has the usual equipments, but also has aerobic classes such as hip-hop dancing, lin dancing, Salsa dancing, yoga, pilate and so on. Cool but a luxurious gym, I should honestly say! Anyway, I hope to be able to join a dancing class in Penang and be like (hahaha!!!) Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere in the "Shall we dance" movie.

Anyway, some of the past bitter experiences I have with some people I have now forgotten, although I find myself to be a little resilient in that I still wanted to be friends with W I have told you before. But I find this person is also resilient, not wanting to accept my offer of friendship. What a wasted opportunity of a friendship offer. If I quote it here, it would sound very much contradictory to what he has written in one of his home page profile, which reads like this:
"... so i always emphasize that, never ever give up any opportunity that can make up with 2 persons...i always appreciate on the faith in between...because when u never try, never appreciate, u may lose something in your whole life... ".
And another message he wrote in ICQ:
"Friends is a very important issue in my life. They are my life partner,we grow together, and happy each other. Anyone who is interested to make friend with me, hope u can drop message to me, ....."
If you compare to his type of personality I describe you in my previous blog and what he has written in the quotes above, you will see clearly that this person does not do what he really meant in his message. Probably one who knows who to say things but never know how to appreciate what he has written there. Worst, he does not even understand the meaning of his OWN message. Simply writing for the sake of writing it. Anyway, I don't quite understand the complex personality of this person. A friendship is really hard to build with this type of person.

Anyway, I guess this blog is going to get longer if I continue writing it. Guess I will have to end it here. Really, a lot of things have happened these past weeks, which I had wished I can relate all of them to you, but alas, time does not allow me to do so. So, "bye-bye" is all I can say of now...

Why must life be like that?

Hi, first of all, I would like to introduce myself. I am David Chin, a Malaysian who is just a normal guy living in a normal imperfect world. I am already 27 this year and quite too old to date anyone else by youngster's standards. I am 170cm, about 5 feet 7 inches and I am 65kg about 130 pounds. I am now living in Kuala Lumpur, about 30 minutes drive from the Kuala Lumpur City Center (KLCC) Petronas Twin Towers. Well, I am a rather fun-loving, care-free and happy-go-lucky guy with sense of humour and loves cracking jokes, loves shopping and loves watching movies and attending classical concert musicals. I also love to meet and socialise with new friends local and worldwide (if possible, the whole Universe (aliens or ET, I mean), hehehe...). It doesn't matter if you are a female or male or if you are of different religions or races or nationalities or beliefs or creeds (or of different planets or of different solar or planetary systems... hehehe...) or whoever you are, wherever you are, whenever you are, I'd love to be your friend, no matter how far the distance between us may be.

Speaking about various discriminations in terms of religions and human races and gays/lesbians, I have always kept thinking about why would such discriminations ever happen. Why should there ever be racism, sentiments of religious-hatred (especially Islamophobia, ever since the tragedy of 9/11), and homophobia? Why would racists of certain race think that their own human race is far more superior than other races? Why would some religious-haters say that a certain religion is a disease of the world when the said religion IS NOT a harmful or NOT even a violent religion, but a very peaceful religion? Why would homophobiacs be so judgmental that they even think they have the same equal right as God to judge certain group of people that these group of people are the evil-doers by quoting verses from religious Holy Books? I think we all should END these sentiments of hatred; hatred towards the races of people, hatred towards particular religions and hatred towards a certain group of people. That's because I think that HATRED OF ALL KINDS IS THE MAIN NUMBER 1 MURDERER OF HUMANITY. Let's reflect for a moment the various tragedies that occur due to these types of hatreds.

A CASE OF RACISM
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(March 9, 2005): Judge Joan Lefkow, 61, was once targeted for death by a white supremacist leader, and her husdand and mother were killed by white supremacists in Chicago on 7th March 2005. White supremacist sites applaud the killings, saying that they are satisfied that 2 black people have been killed. The link to CNN news is here: http://cnn.com/2005/US/03/03/schuster.column/index.html

A CASE OF RELIGIOUS-HATRED
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(October 25, 2001): There have been incidents of Arab-Americans removed from planes because of fears expressed by other passengers. And one man, a Sikh convenience store owner in Mesa, Arizona, was killed September 15 by an angry bar patron upset by the terrorist attacks, thinking that the Sikh was a Muslim, judging by the turban that he wore. The link to CNN news is here: http://archives.cnn.com/2001/US/10/24/rec.arab.americans/index.html

A CASE OF HOMOPHOBIA
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(October 26, 1999): Matthew Shepard was hit at least 20 times by blows so hard they fractured his skull six times, a coroner testified Tuesday at the trial of Aaron McKinney, one of two men accused of killing the gay Wyoming college student last year October. The link to CNN news is here: http://www.cnn.com/US/9910/26/shepard.trial.02/index.html

I think these haters should not even exist in this world, because they are the cause of the sufferings of many people. But, if we all rise to eradicate such hatreds from the world, we can ensure a better peaceful world, although we will not be able to create an Utopian perfect world that many have envisioned.

Well, what exactly really made me write this blog? It was the event of yesterday, 3rd April 2005, in which I had had some not-so-nice experiences with some people. It is really quite hard and rather painful to related the events that happened. I think the pain and hurt that I have gone through yesterday was rather unforgiving; it was real cold and hard. Feelings can't just really be expressed in words, they have to be expressed emotionally. Well, I tried not to be so unhappy myself, because I think such unhappy feelings can really haunt you for several days, months and even years. I just don't know why would I ever think back of some of the events of the past, some of them painful, some rather hauntingly hurtful; they just simply can't let go you, they hold on to you and make you suffer a long, long time (that's why I say they are hauntingly hurtful). Let me relate one incident that is such.

You know, again, it is rather painful to relate such events, simply because the pains and hurts that these events caused, are very unforgiving, cold and hard. Well, I hope I can put up enough courage to relate them to all of you. Years ago, back in about 1999, I was in a local college and I have a college-mate friend, a girl called A; well, she was rather nice and cute too, in certain perspectives. Well, no names mentioned. I cared for her and I often asked how she was every week or so. Then, after some months of friendship, I put up enough courage to ask her to be my girlfriend, and you know WHAT she did? She rejected right at my face (RIGHT AT MY FACE!!!) and told me I was not the right guy for her and that she prefer someone else (that someone else is also a friend of mine) rather than be her boyfriend. She didn't explain more and Good God knows what she was trying to tell me that night. I didn't cried physically but I cried in my heart, emotionally; it was extremely painful and hurtful, and even right now, I can still feel the after-effects of that hurtful feeling. I won't delve anymore into this rather unforgiving event, for fear that I might cry tonight thinking about that.

And another turn of events occur yesterday, a guy called W, whom I knew from ICQ, rejected my offer of friendship. Well, I just wanted to know more friends, so I turn to ICQ and MSN to widen my circles of friendship. Well, we have only met once, in Kenny Rogers in KL and we talked zealously about our jobs and what we did in our respective jobs. Yesterday, the events were just as unforgiving as my dating of a girl back in 1999. He, just like her, rejected my offer of friendship right away, again right at my face (JUST AGAIN!!!), by telling me that I am just not his type of friend. I did not even hurt him and not even saying offending things to him. He just said that we have some communication problems (oh yeah, W? Then why the f**k do we talk like we were so zealous of each other's jobs???). And also, he told me that there is no personality aspect of mine that he could appreciate (yeah, W, as though I do not even have strengths, all you see are my weaknesses!!!). No further explanations were offered and he left me guessing what on God's Gracious Earth does he try to tell me??? Hey, W, just WTF are you trying to tell me??? Why do you, W, say such bad things to me? What wrong did I do? Why must you put me in such a painful course of events? I know you are a Buddhist, and as a Buddhist, you must not put other people in such a state of suffering, or else you will be creating a bad karma (negative energy or "chi") for yourself. Just think about that yourself.

Then again, I was so unhappy that I began to feel pain in my heart again, just as painful as I was when I was rejected by the girl back in 1999. Then just yesterday evening, I have finished ICQ-ing with this W, my mom came upstairs and scolded me for not helping her preparing for dinner. Me, still feeling the scorching pain that was so unbearable, scolded my mom back, and I was really, really unhappy, depressed, almost breaking down in tears and was so down that I almost cry out aloud. Never before have I gone through such unhappy painful events. Then later that night I ask for her forgiveness and I almost cried when she told me in tears about her saving so much money that she didn't even go for lunch at work. See, just how much sacrifice a mom would do for a household. My almost-60-year-old dad has retired since 2002 and she is the one who has to do most houseworks and has to work too, although my dad do also help cleaning the house daily. I actually regret scolding her back yesterday evening. I shouldn't have. I should have been more obedient yesterday evening.

Well, I guess I write too much here. I hope you can spend some 10 minutes or so reading this long-winded blog of mine. Anyway, I just hope no one ever hurts me anymore. Just no more...