Why must life be like that?

Hi, first of all, I would like to introduce myself. I am David Chin, a Malaysian who is just a normal guy living in a normal imperfect world. I am already 27 this year and quite too old to date anyone else by youngster's standards. I am 170cm, about 5 feet 7 inches and I am 65kg about 130 pounds. I am now living in Kuala Lumpur, about 30 minutes drive from the Kuala Lumpur City Center (KLCC) Petronas Twin Towers. Well, I am a rather fun-loving, care-free and happy-go-lucky guy with sense of humour and loves cracking jokes, loves shopping and loves watching movies and attending classical concert musicals. I also love to meet and socialise with new friends local and worldwide (if possible, the whole Universe (aliens or ET, I mean), hehehe...). It doesn't matter if you are a female or male or if you are of different religions or races or nationalities or beliefs or creeds (or of different planets or of different solar or planetary systems... hehehe...) or whoever you are, wherever you are, whenever you are, I'd love to be your friend, no matter how far the distance between us may be.

Speaking about various discriminations in terms of religions and human races and gays/lesbians, I have always kept thinking about why would such discriminations ever happen. Why should there ever be racism, sentiments of religious-hatred (especially Islamophobia, ever since the tragedy of 9/11), and homophobia? Why would racists of certain race think that their own human race is far more superior than other races? Why would some religious-haters say that a certain religion is a disease of the world when the said religion IS NOT a harmful or NOT even a violent religion, but a very peaceful religion? Why would homophobiacs be so judgmental that they even think they have the same equal right as God to judge certain group of people that these group of people are the evil-doers by quoting verses from religious Holy Books? I think we all should END these sentiments of hatred; hatred towards the races of people, hatred towards particular religions and hatred towards a certain group of people. That's because I think that HATRED OF ALL KINDS IS THE MAIN NUMBER 1 MURDERER OF HUMANITY. Let's reflect for a moment the various tragedies that occur due to these types of hatreds.

A CASE OF RACISM
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(March 9, 2005): Judge Joan Lefkow, 61, was once targeted for death by a white supremacist leader, and her husdand and mother were killed by white supremacists in Chicago on 7th March 2005. White supremacist sites applaud the killings, saying that they are satisfied that 2 black people have been killed. The link to CNN news is here: http://cnn.com/2005/US/03/03/schuster.column/index.html

A CASE OF RELIGIOUS-HATRED
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(October 25, 2001): There have been incidents of Arab-Americans removed from planes because of fears expressed by other passengers. And one man, a Sikh convenience store owner in Mesa, Arizona, was killed September 15 by an angry bar patron upset by the terrorist attacks, thinking that the Sikh was a Muslim, judging by the turban that he wore. The link to CNN news is here: http://archives.cnn.com/2001/US/10/24/rec.arab.americans/index.html

A CASE OF HOMOPHOBIA
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(October 26, 1999): Matthew Shepard was hit at least 20 times by blows so hard they fractured his skull six times, a coroner testified Tuesday at the trial of Aaron McKinney, one of two men accused of killing the gay Wyoming college student last year October. The link to CNN news is here: http://www.cnn.com/US/9910/26/shepard.trial.02/index.html

I think these haters should not even exist in this world, because they are the cause of the sufferings of many people. But, if we all rise to eradicate such hatreds from the world, we can ensure a better peaceful world, although we will not be able to create an Utopian perfect world that many have envisioned.

Well, what exactly really made me write this blog? It was the event of yesterday, 3rd April 2005, in which I had had some not-so-nice experiences with some people. It is really quite hard and rather painful to related the events that happened. I think the pain and hurt that I have gone through yesterday was rather unforgiving; it was real cold and hard. Feelings can't just really be expressed in words, they have to be expressed emotionally. Well, I tried not to be so unhappy myself, because I think such unhappy feelings can really haunt you for several days, months and even years. I just don't know why would I ever think back of some of the events of the past, some of them painful, some rather hauntingly hurtful; they just simply can't let go you, they hold on to you and make you suffer a long, long time (that's why I say they are hauntingly hurtful). Let me relate one incident that is such.

You know, again, it is rather painful to relate such events, simply because the pains and hurts that these events caused, are very unforgiving, cold and hard. Well, I hope I can put up enough courage to relate them to all of you. Years ago, back in about 1999, I was in a local college and I have a college-mate friend, a girl called A; well, she was rather nice and cute too, in certain perspectives. Well, no names mentioned. I cared for her and I often asked how she was every week or so. Then, after some months of friendship, I put up enough courage to ask her to be my girlfriend, and you know WHAT she did? She rejected right at my face (RIGHT AT MY FACE!!!) and told me I was not the right guy for her and that she prefer someone else (that someone else is also a friend of mine) rather than be her boyfriend. She didn't explain more and Good God knows what she was trying to tell me that night. I didn't cried physically but I cried in my heart, emotionally; it was extremely painful and hurtful, and even right now, I can still feel the after-effects of that hurtful feeling. I won't delve anymore into this rather unforgiving event, for fear that I might cry tonight thinking about that.

And another turn of events occur yesterday, a guy called W, whom I knew from ICQ, rejected my offer of friendship. Well, I just wanted to know more friends, so I turn to ICQ and MSN to widen my circles of friendship. Well, we have only met once, in Kenny Rogers in KL and we talked zealously about our jobs and what we did in our respective jobs. Yesterday, the events were just as unforgiving as my dating of a girl back in 1999. He, just like her, rejected my offer of friendship right away, again right at my face (JUST AGAIN!!!), by telling me that I am just not his type of friend. I did not even hurt him and not even saying offending things to him. He just said that we have some communication problems (oh yeah, W? Then why the f**k do we talk like we were so zealous of each other's jobs???). And also, he told me that there is no personality aspect of mine that he could appreciate (yeah, W, as though I do not even have strengths, all you see are my weaknesses!!!). No further explanations were offered and he left me guessing what on God's Gracious Earth does he try to tell me??? Hey, W, just WTF are you trying to tell me??? Why do you, W, say such bad things to me? What wrong did I do? Why must you put me in such a painful course of events? I know you are a Buddhist, and as a Buddhist, you must not put other people in such a state of suffering, or else you will be creating a bad karma (negative energy or "chi") for yourself. Just think about that yourself.

Then again, I was so unhappy that I began to feel pain in my heart again, just as painful as I was when I was rejected by the girl back in 1999. Then just yesterday evening, I have finished ICQ-ing with this W, my mom came upstairs and scolded me for not helping her preparing for dinner. Me, still feeling the scorching pain that was so unbearable, scolded my mom back, and I was really, really unhappy, depressed, almost breaking down in tears and was so down that I almost cry out aloud. Never before have I gone through such unhappy painful events. Then later that night I ask for her forgiveness and I almost cried when she told me in tears about her saving so much money that she didn't even go for lunch at work. See, just how much sacrifice a mom would do for a household. My almost-60-year-old dad has retired since 2002 and she is the one who has to do most houseworks and has to work too, although my dad do also help cleaning the house daily. I actually regret scolding her back yesterday evening. I shouldn't have. I should have been more obedient yesterday evening.

Well, I guess I write too much here. I hope you can spend some 10 minutes or so reading this long-winded blog of mine. Anyway, I just hope no one ever hurts me anymore. Just no more...